— Catherynne M. Valente, In the Night Garden
— Catherynne M. Valente, In the Night Garden
"signs of an abusive relationship:
- They have sudden mood swings. “
uh this… this is utter horseshit and incredibly misleading????
Actual abusive behaviour:
- their mood swings depending on how well you/others adhere to their desires, whims, and wishes, making you/others ‘responsible’ for their feelings and their behaviour. For example: they say “hi! how’re you doing? :)” and if you take ‘too long’ to reply or don’t reply in the tone that they want (something that is absurd anyway and only moreso when speaking via text) they get suddenly angry, accusing, self-deprecating and/or depressed and imply (or outright say) that this is your fault.
these two things are not the same
"sudden mood swings" is often a symptom expressed by abused people as they struggle to understand how they “should” be feeling and/or behaving according to their abusers wishes; for example swinging suddenly from happiness to guilt/shame/fear.
it’s actually quite bloody important to be specific when talking about abuse because abusers can and will twist anything to further torture, isolate, and confuse their victims, and victims are incredibly vulnerable to feelings of guilt and of self-blame.
Insinuating that a person is abusive or ‘bad’ because they have ‘mood-swings’ without specifying actual abusive patterns of behaviour that acompany this is dangerous
Things I learnt today: During WW1, MI5 used Girl Guides to send secret messages. They used Girl Guides because they quickly found that Boy Scouts couldn’t be trusted and were’t efficient enough.
the boy scouts were too gossipy, so they used girl guides as spies instead this is probably the best day of my life
The social and commercial construct of gender is going nowhere fast, and, as demonstrated by a fashion blogger under attack for refusing to conform to gender roles, non-binary visibility grows increasingly urgent each day.
This would be a REALLY good time for solidarity and showing support for fellow nonbinary persons.
Petition to make Isabella a permanent fixture in the comics.
She just shows up occasionally, throwing bricks and shouting anti-fascist slogans in Spanish when she’s needed, and then disappears once she’s accomplished her mission. Her codename is La Vengadora Ladrillo.
[From Mighty Avengers #2, Ibid, and #10, 2014.]
I love this old lady.
The fact that there are people out there looking forward to Hatred just makes any ‘games are art’ and ‘gamers aren’t edgy douchebags’ arguments null and avoid.
Like come the fuck on.
The game is literally about a dude that just goes on a rampage to murder innocent people in the most edgiest ‘im an angry white guy in a trenchcoat’ way. And check the tag and you got people all but whipping out their murderboners to jerk their meat to it.
And then on Twitter you got people like “I DON’T SEE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS BETWEEN THIS AND GTA”
Well you fucklink, in GTA you have the option to go on murderous rampages on innocent people and you are also punished if you do so. Also not a single GTA game ever has painted the protagonist as a good person or ever tried to excuse the foul ass shit they do with some lame ass 8th grade edgy teen era manifesto like Hatred is doing.
Meanwhile over in this black and grey gritty piece of shit the whole point is to act out your fucked up ass mass shooting fantasies and be rewarded for it because why the fuck not, right?
Y’all sit there with a straight face and be like ‘Gone Home isn’t a game because you just walk around and read” but will go all ‘Hatred is a real game because I get to live out my murder fantasy’
But yeah, Games are art and freedom and blah blah eat my ass you are the kind of people that are actually and actively fucking it up for the rest of us.
Fun fact about American health care: if I ever need an organ transplant, I’ll somehow have to hide my autism, depression, and anxiety from the doctors, or else I’ll be disqualified under ideas about quality of life. It’s really great to know how valued disabled and neurodivergent lives are.
So here’s a thing many people don’t know about me: I used to be a medical data analyst. (I still do it occasionally, but not as a full-time job.) It’s a pretty self-explanatory job: I took data - often in enormous datasets - and analyzed it to find patterns. (Obviously, we couldn’t associate these with individual patients; this was just after HIPAA had come into effect, and so this data was very heavily scrubbed to remove any identifiable information.)
One of the patterns I looked for was quality of life and quality of care for people with severe and persistent mental illness (SPMI). For our purposes, that meant major depression, bipolar disorder, general anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, and “other SPMI” (I encourage you to not send me messages telling me how those categories are terrible, because a) it was ten years ago and b) I wasn’t in charge of the categories.) In particular, we looked at injury, illness, and death in people with SPMI, compared with the general population, while they were in the hospital and at certain intervals after they were released (30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 180 days, and 1 year).
People with severe and persistent illness were much more likely to become ill and/or die in the hospital or shortly after discharge than the “general population”. People with schizophrenia had nearly ten times the deaths while in the hospital, and twelve times the injuries and illnesses.
Just as telling were the notes associated with the patient records. There was a significant pattern in the terminology used. In patients in the “general population”, doctors tended to use the word “is”: for example, “patient is suffering from abdominal cramping”. In patients with SPMI, doctors tended to use the phrase “claims to be”: for example, “patient claims to be suffering from abdominal cramping”.
It was clear to us that medical professionals - in general, I know for a fact that there are doctors out there who don’t do this - were assuming that patients with severe and persistent mental illness were inventing some, if not all, of their symptoms - that the symptoms were not real, and therefore did not need to be treated.
And because of that, these patients were falling ill and dying at alarming rates.
This isn’t personal anecdotes. I spent more than a year analyzing this data - which came from actual hospitals in the United States - and finding these patterns. There’s a problem here.
(I would prefer not to give out the name I was using then in public here, but if you’re interested, message me privately and I’ll see if I can get you links to the articles.)
I* believe there is similar data on Developmental Disabilities. In policy discussions it is not uncommon to hear health issues, both mental and physical, attributed to the DD without investigating if it were accurate or not.
Today’s picture for invisible illness is a personal one. This is one of about 30 notes that my friend has received since using her handicapped placard. I’m going to say this to you, have you ever seen someone get out of a car parked in a handicapped space and said to yourself “they look too young or they don’t look disabled.” I’m going to go with yes you have, because we all have at one time. I can’t remember doing it, but before I understood the difficulties of invisible illness when I was younger I probably did. Let me ask you this though, when you had that thought was it because you knew with 100% certainty that they weren’t handicapped or did you assume that because of their age and/or not seeing a cane, walker or wheelchair? All I’m asking is that we stop and think when we someone need a mobility aid, park in a handicapped space or say they are disabled that we remember this “DISABILITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH AGE OR APPEARNACE.” #spoonie #invisibleillness #disability #chronicillness #rheumatoidarthritis #lupus #fibromyalgia #myofascialpainsyndrome
If nothing else, this post needs to be seen around the internet more. This harassment is not okay and no one should have to deal with it on top of having an invisible illness. This is just another form of anonymous bullying to add to the internet bullying these TROLLS are capable of.
If you are healthy, please reblog.
If you are sick, please reblog.
If you have a disability, please reblog.
If you have an invisible illness, please reblog.
If you know someone with a disability, please reblog.
If you are a human being, please reblog.
Let’s spread the word and help those of us that may not look like it.
Ignorance isn’t bliss, ignorance is ignorance.
And people ask me why I am afraid to use my cane in public.
Being disabled, visibly so is always dangerous
When I got my first cane and posted about it, I had people demanding to know why I thought I “deserved” it at my age.
That was the word.
This is the kind of bullshit that made my dad, a man who dealt with crippling pain from degenerative disc disorder, afraid to apply for handicapped parking
I remember saying to him that he could get handicapped plates and hearing him say that it wasn’t “bad enough” as I watched him wince and hobble as he walked from the back of the parking lot
People internalize these ideas, even handicapped people, that’s why this is so fucking important
and how about people stop leaving notes on cars that have FUCKING PLACARDS
and instead stop parking in our spots
or you know “just waiting there for a minute”
because fucking people, they always need to judge and police us, but fuck, how many times do people park in an accessible spot with NO placard, or even DOUBLE park, and like no one gives a shit
but of course they love to harass disabled people.
99% of the time, whenever I hear someone say “Don’t be so quick to label yourself,” it’s really just another way of saying “Don’t accept yourself as LGBTQ+. Keep letting society tell you that you’re straight and cisgender. You are not qualified to make judgments about your own experiences. If you try to exercise autonomy over your own identity, then you are being frivolous and unreasonable.”
It’s especially disturbing because it tells young people to be silent, isolated, and passive about their identities, and does so while pretending to encourage open-mindedness and flexibility.